I really miss write things here.
2013 was the year of transition. I move out to a new house, my hair is natural now, I had to learn to respect my father. I also learned what happiness is and I forced myself to get a life. I met new people, new places, new cultures.. I laghed so much and had so much fun.
I cried a lot too, but it helped me to reflect things on life.
Happiness was my goal in life.. everyday I was like “Oh am I happy? No, I’m really unhappy. How do I get happy? What does makes me happy?” and I really stopped with this shit. I realized that all of these questions in my mind was making my depression get worse. Depression didn’t get off of my life yet but, things are getting better. I didn’t question my life too much anymore, I let things happen.
I had a relapse (SF) after 3 months without any cut and now I’m about 3 or 4 months without SF! I’m still learning how to love myself, my body and everything about my image. This is my everyday fight.. it’s so hard. Sometimes I think that the eating disorder is stronger than me.. that if I never get into a clinic, things will never be better. Eating disorder turned a habit. A part of me.
But I’m working to get better, and I will.
Oh I have to write more texts in english, my grammar sucks now.